October, another chance

Hi Brooke and amazing coaches.

I am both excited for the new month and also full of dread. This is my third month in scholars. During August, I had a purpose that I thought was good, but I kept producing the same model everyday on my purpose, which showed me that the main thought about my purpose is that I am worthless. On the last call of the month, Katrina helped me change my purpose to “waking up and being me.” That brought me to tears because I’m having a hard time believing I am enough. Then in September, I had a big goal, and accomplished about 80 percent of it, including a big presentation for which I was terrified, but didn’t pull the trigger on the final final piece. And so for October, here are my models. Would love some help on them, or anything else!
C: Work in scholars
T: this month will be like August and September and everything else you do — you’ll half ass it and not complete it well or thoroughly.
F: Shame
A: Beat myself up, look for evidence that I am terrible
R: Think mean thoughts about myself, don’t do the work

C: Scholars work
T: You’re good at signing up for stuff, but never really improving
F: Shame, stuck
A: Indulge in overwhelm, self loathing
R: spin, feel bad, don’t do stuff

C: Scholars work
T: I’m exactly where I need to be in managing my mind
F: Excited, ready
A: Do the daily work no matter what, including self doubt
R: Work gets done, improve tools for managing my mind