October concern – lb


Hi! I have read in several places that October’s work is to organize house. I am already dreading the month because it touches on an on going issue between my husband and myself. My husband, like his mother, verges on the edge of hoarding in my opinion. We are very different. We have been married for 17 years and I have turned my head at his massive storage piles of “treasures“. He has given way to my request to organize most of our inside house, I keep it relatively organized and neat and functional. I am also teaching our three children to organize their things in the way that I do. However we have a large storage building in the back of our yard and a large three car garage, most of both are filled with boxes from his 57 years of life . They are literally boxes filled with things he has collected, papers she has worked on at his job, magazines he hopes someday to read, and on and on. My September “get it done “ work was to sort through all of my boxes in the storage unit without getting into his, bitching at him , secretly throwing his stuff away etc. I reached my goal. But I have a lot resentment about all the boxes he will not go through. Also continues to go to thrift stores and bring home things that I do not want in the house. I have made it clear that I want him to stop this. I have made it clear that I feel strongly about this. He has not changed his behavior. I will not leave the relationship because of this, but I’m allowing my thoughts to drive me crazy. And now the thought that October’s work is to create an organized home feels like a slap in the face. My thought is if I were good enough I could make him work on this. I do not want to spend the whole month of October thinking I’m a failure because my husband has a hoarding/never going to use but want to have streak. I hate that our home is like this – I feel so Sad that we do not have an expansive lovely spaces but intead instead, Jumbled piled spaces. And I feel like October is just gonna be a confrontation of all he wants that I don’t want and that I have no power to control. You you please advise how to still make October’s work useful to me. I do not want to try and change his behavior. It doesnt work. Thank you!!!!