oh, its social anxiety, following up on follow up, becoming a normal human

Hi again Brooke,
Just one more follow up on “the paranoia issue” again- thank you in advance for reading all of this

I keep forgetting and remembering and forgetting and then remembering that my issue would be considered “social anxiety” and it is as slippery, tricky and convincing as any other anxiety -its a 3 yr old running around with a knife that gets activated any time I am trying to do something of value that involves others

Wanting to bring value to others is a social need, and when I want to do something of value, it triggers my brain into hyper protective mode- I read that the amgydala lights up in MRI for perceived social threats

My primitive mind has been trained into hypervigilance and into checking that everything is OK all the time and then is attempting to protect me in advance in case its not by scaring me, getting me not to do what I am trying/wanting to do, with people

This is why I started opting out socially, having to deal with triggers at work already exhausting me

I feel my therapists have given it too much weight as a psychological issue and never put it into perspective of the brain on overdrive

I am going to give this no more significance than brain anxiety and use your approach to dealing with brain anxiety

I am going to figure out how to Be In The World with a high level love-based philosophy – I guess it will include embracing my own humanness first and foremost (if I am then to embrace others’) so that I need to be OK with MY mistakes and embarrassments, first and foremost, almost by imperative. And that other stuff is not real. And then I can be there for others and for me, all in

c-social anxiety-brain on overdrive around others/thoughts of others
t-I am going to die and be annihilated if I try and give value to others
f- devastated
a-recoil, hide
r- my opportunities to give value to others become annihilated

c-social anxiety-brain on overdrive around others/thoughts of others
t-this anxiety is not real and I will redirect my focus and I will live my purpose
f- committed
a-review and redirect as often as necessary
r- I live my purpose

c-bringing value to others
t-my desire to bring value to others through doing things I love is normal and healthy
a- keep finding ways to ground myself
r- I bring value to others

c-social anxiety-brain on overdrive
t- i am determined to create a healthy mindset about others that embraces the courage of transparency and humanness
a-study, learn, practice
r-I am open, human, transparent, courageous

c-bringing value
t-I am determined to find ways to bring value to others, no matter what
a-decide the areas to bring value and start doing it
r-I bring value to others

Thanks again