Old habits die hard…

I am allowing myself to be so hurt and frustrated right now. Its weird because I think letting it go is going to let him off the hook. So freaking dumb. My brain knows better but old habits die hard I guess. We were suppose to be going to Mexico in a week and he booked the Airbnb. He isn’t very organized and didn’t ever realize we’d only paid half and so when he got a notice that a balance was due he ignored it thinking they must have an error and they canceled our booking. Now we have no where to stay. We could book the same room for the full price…which means we’d pay 150% of the price because we already paid 50% and won’t get that back. I’m just so mad at him. Tonight he started being all high and mighty and acting like I was being ridiculous for being frustrated. Part of me knows I am, but part of me thinks its ridiculous he isn’t owning up to the fact that he is the reason we don’t have a room. He keeps justifying the fact that it isn’t his fault the room got booked. When I ask him about it he says I’m jabbing him.

C: We paid 50% down for a room in Mexico and then didn’t pay the balance and the room was cancelled. We will not get the money we paid for the room back. Husband says, “How would I have known I didn’t pay it all up front.”
T: He doesn’t own up to the fact that he messed up. He doesn’t say sorry, and says I know better (since I have the model) than to get frustrated about it. He doesn’t give us space to process it and figure out what to do.
F: frustrated, mad, upset
A: I distance myself from him, find more evidence that he is irresponsible and that he doesn’t care about me.
R: He goes to bed without saying goodnight and I feel very frustrated about it all.

I know this thought isn’t helping me, but I’m so freaking frustrated. I don’t even care if we go to Mexico I just want him to be sensitive and kind to me and give me space to be sad, disappointed and frustrated about it all instead of making me feel like I’m the bad guy. HELP!!??? I want to just show up kind and loving, but does that mean I should not be able to ask questions about the situation and problem solve it with him? I feel very stuck. This is something that is reoccurring in our marriage. Me asking questions and him interpreting it as jabs or trying to control him. I am just trying to gather information to understand what happened so that we can have a discussion and make a decision.