OMG! So close to flipping this model on my own


Hello Brooke,

My thoughts about this situation have been bothering me for a week. I’m so close to flipping this one on my own – which feels like a big step towards emotional adulthood.

I received an email from an old and dear friend. This friend is also a therapist, and I realize I’ve been desperate to avoid conflict with her specifically, so I’ve tried very hard to follow her manual for me. This has led to a strained friendship.

I received an email from my friend last week. The message was:
– I seemed like back to my old confident self.
– She had missed the old me
– It’s easy to lose ourselves during the years of starting a family

My first response was anger. I had many thoughts about it – I was here the whole time, her friendship is conditional on me being confident, I’m not 100% myself around her because I’m trying so hard to follow her manual for me etc.

I struggled with was how to respond. I made a breakthrough.

The email is her thought download. She sent it to me. That’s weird. But oh well. I don’t engage with other people’s thought downloads unless they specifically ask me to. I don’t need to respond.

C: Friend sends me her thought download about me
T: I don’t engage with other people’s thought downloads unless they specifically ask me to
F: Peace
A: No response to email necessary
R: I am me no matter what other people say, do or think

Anything to add?

xx
Wendy