On being single

I am single. Most of the time, I’m okay with that! I can do as I please and that’s pretty amazing! Evening and weekends are different. I have thoughts and feelings around being alone, feeling lonely.

I’ve had very low self worth. This has definitely impacted my choices of partners and my relationships. This lack of self worth is what has brought me into SCS.

I go through times then where the urge to find a partner is pretty strong and I think “well.. it couldn’t hurt to just loooooook at the dating sites, right?” So far, every time this has occurred the last 2 months, I’ve been able to shut that urge down. But it’s starting to get a little harder.

I want to develop my self worth, feel love and compassion for myself, and I’m afraid if I get in a relationship before that happens- I’m setting myself up for failure in relationship again. Quickly on the heels of that thought comes: you always think you have to EARN their love, jump through flaming hoops in order to be worthy of their love. You have come so far, but you never think you’re worthy – so you’re never going to be loved.

Here are couple models, which is still very new to me.
C – I’m single
T – that’s because I’m not worthy of love
F- lonely and sad
A – run out and find someone, anyone
R – poor choice of partners, dysfunctional relationships

C- I’m single
T- I’m learning to love myself!
F- secure
A – work on things i enjoy, including myself
R – I grow in self worth.

I have spent very little time single, and I know part of this is just that it’s different. Appreciate your thoughts coaches!

SCS is the best thing I have ever done for myself!!