So I notice that if I am eating in front of others I have a much harder time to allow urges, I either resist or I indulge. The most recurrent situation in which this comes out is when I do not have a very clear protocol or I do not have a clear commitment to follow it. These can be described altogether as not having done a complete preparation before the triggering event comes. So preparation means having a clear mind about is reasonable to expect (the urge will come) and prescription, so a list of thoughts to be used as answers to the default thoughts that my brain will throw out.
So one side of the work, which I always want to avoid, is to be determined to get prepared with the prescriptions. At the same time, I don’t believe it is reasonable to expect me to be prepared in all these circumstances. When I am not prepared it means I am leaving space for the doubt to arise, the doubt of whether to add one more serving or bite of food or not to my plate. Because of my past experiences with food, doubt is not a flat emotion, but it is rather feeling conflicted, it has some urgency component in it.
So first I would like to ask you if you could offer me some thoughts for when I face being conflicted, to feel instead prepared even when I did not make a complete preparation.
Second, this feeling of conflict is much stronger when I am in front of others. Why? Because a prescription is a list of thoughts that I plan to use intentionally in the moment, and applying it requires memory, focus, mental power. When I am in a conversation I have my brain that is already engaged and I end up doing three things at the same time, 1)chatting 2)watching the urge 3) search around my brain for the intentional thoughts that are somewhere there but maybe I have forgotten. As you can see, this increases the original feeling of conflicted. Suggestions to find flow and confidence in these situations? Thanks a lot