One Week On One Week Off

I have been eating on protocol for a week at a time then going off protocol for four or five days. Then back on. Which means I’m losing and regaining the same two pounds for two months now.

Some of the thoughts have been:
It’s official that I will be working from home for the next year so who cares about trying to lose these 20 pounds.
I can start again next week.
I just want cake and I’m just going to eat it, I don’t care.
When I weighed 20 pounds less, my life wasn’t all that different, so why bother?
I’m over 40 now, so I probably won’t look that much better at 125 than I do at 145. And, again, who will even see me?

I make sourdough bread every couple of weeks and I also bake treats for my husband since he asks for them and I like making them for him. These are two of the things that I am overeating, even when I put them on as exceptions. I want to just eat the one planned slice of bread with lunch and I want to eat just one slice of cake as my exception, but instead I ate five pieces of bread and three pieces of cake. When I think of what I can do for the rest of my life, cutting out bread and never baking again are not things I want to do, but the over desire is real.

Any help is appreciated.