How to organise thoughts about a decision to leave my husband?


Hello Brook,
I am struggling to apply the model in a right way to a decision on leaving my husband or staying in a relationship. I have been having these doubts for three years now and postponing having children for that reason.

I would love to turn the T part of the model in a more constructive way but having doubts prevents me from finding a right formula.

Here is how the model looks like today :

C : Married for many years but evolving in different directions. My husband is looking for settling down, can’t wait to have children, focuses on household and quality of life, staying in a comfort zone, no professional growth, no interest in persnal development. I am looking for new professional challenges, work on personal development and spirituality, cultural knowledge and experiences.
T : My husband is a wonderful man who has always been there for me in most difficult situations, no one will probably love me as much as he does. He is my safe heaven. However, we became so different and do not share much outside household routines these days. I would love to share my life with a soalmate with whom I could discuss most of things I am interested in. Shall I turn on this page, leave my husband before we have children, look for my soalmate and reach my full potential without being held back? Or shall I make more effort to convince myself how lucky I am having found a reliable, loving, caring, faithful husband that offers a safe heaven at home no matter how stormy it is outside?
F : frustration, confusion, guilt, sadness
A : postponing having children, sometimes pushing my husband to evolve professionally and personally (of course communicating in a delicate way)
R : no children, bitter moments in a relationship

Thank you very much in advance for your advice