The longer I’m with my boyfriend the more that I realize that he won’t feel his emotions and he isn’t honest about how he feels about things. Right now we both have covid and every time I ask him how he is or I want to help cheer him up he just said, I’m good and then says, is that it? ok bye and he hangs up. It’s really weird behavior.

I know that adults can do whatever they want, but I’m starting to think like — is this always how this person is going to handle things that they don’t like? They are just going to get mad and shut down. And doI want to be with someone like that?

Here’s my model around this.
C. Boyfriend says he’s fine and hangs up phone.
T. I’m trying to help, he should be nicer.
F. Annoyed.
A. Distance myself from him.
R. ?

When I write this model out, I think — well me distancing myself from him is probably what he wants. He does this thing where he’ll push and pull. He’ll hang up the phone and avoid me in our house but then a day later say, I miss you. The whole thing is very annoying.

I guess I need to create a new model.

C. Boyfriend says he’s fine and hangs up phone.
T. He probably just feels sick and is grumpy.
F. Neutral.
A. Keep doing my thing and not worry about him.
R. He engages when he’s ready and his behavior doesn’t impact me.

Does this look right?