Other peoples models

HELP lol!
I keep getting into other people models. I want the guy i’m dating to change or do this or that. I know that he cannot be in my model but I am constantly in his model in my head. I interpret what he says through my insecure filter and he always says “I literally mean exactly what I said, nothing else. you don’t have to read into it” But I naturally create cause and action in his model. Are there ways to catch this in the moment so I can practice awareness and then hopefully not doing it anymore?
I know it is not helpful to either of us.