Others Show-up

So, dealing with the way Ts & Fs in particular Cs

When people show-up defensive & rude

I gots lots of Ts & Fs coming up lol
I think some coaches would say woman said words. No she was fucking rude and defensive.

I need help with what is the what of this?
I guess partly it seems like my brain makes it mean that I did something……

If they’re not nice or kind or whatever – then I must have done something ….

Intellectually I don’t believe this but on another level – seems to be there

Not sure what else it is?
Like why is this such a problem?

It shows me her mental state, it shows me her model is something like
C: ?
F: defensive
A: show-up rude, communicate unclearly, lose customer, ruin relationship w/ customer, lose $25, end relationship w/ customer, lose $30 on order, ? ?
R: lose $55, relationship, future biz, and create more evidence for needing to be defensive