Out of alignment

Hi Brooke

I have noticed something the past few days where my internal thoughts don’t match what I say externally. Mostly this has to do with work right now. I guess I am a people pleaser and I am a liar. Because I agree to things that otherwise my brain is like noooooooo do NOT want. And I don’t want to be a liar. And often what happens is I start out at the beginning of a relationship people pleasing and being all weird and creepy and then I get to a point where I think I don’t want the relationship anymore (whatever kind of relationship that might be) and I feel really bad about not wanting it so I try to change my mind about not wanting it. I’m doing it now with my colleague. I agreed to a project that my inner self just isn’t agreeing with and I’m trying to think about it in a way that feels better by thinking well I can use this to learn more about marketing and expand my professional presence but the project itself seems to me around how to be inclusive towards people in our community. Which I am not against inclusivity. But scs has taught me that I can’t control how others feel or perceive. So I’m really struggling to allow this, I guess. Help?