On Day 10 on my Thought Download I wrote: Why do I lose it on Sunday’s? (Monday this week because it was a 3 day long weekend)
So I decided to then look at the C: On Sundays’, I smoke a little pot, take a hot bath and then eat a lot of unhealthy food.
I realized that this was really an A, or maybe even a R, but not a C, so I decided to do an entire model.
T – On Sunday’s, it’s okay to eat whatever I want.
F – For a few moments I feel happy, but mostly I feel shitty
A – At first I wrote on Sunday’s I get high, take a bath and eat unhealthily, but then I changed it to ” I buffer feeling shitty by eating more crap.
R – I feel tons of negative emotions.
The truth is, I enjoy this little ritual of smoking a little and taking a hot bath. What I don’t like is the “munchies part” of it. The smoking is not out-of-control. It’s typically once, sometimes twice, a week and only 2 hits. I have even discussed this with my doctor who says this is fine to do.
When I say I eat unhealthily, the facts are, I didn’t eat dinner. Instead, over a 4 hour period I ate a few ounces of chocolate covered pretzels, 2 ounces of cheese and crackers, a bowl of Special K with unsweetened almond milk, and 2 chocolate covered caramels. So not out-of-contol overeating, but not great choices either.
I want to keep my ritual, but I don’t want to make poor food choices and feel shitty.