Overdesire’s root cause


So much success… with SCS. Amazing goals, time management, compounding successes, less procrastination, business success, clearer communication, more authentic, connecting with people deeply and creating, caring for my Self… but I have a two part question about an area i cannot succeed in…

Part 1: When I fast, my frequency rises and i have nervous energy and getting physical really ignites and satisfies me- a hike, pool laps, mountain biking, tennis, dog walk- which spikes my hunger dropping me out of the amazing frequency (your crystal cup resonating example). So I decided to just focus on the protocol and drop the physical part for theee months. I could not eat on protocol. I.F. no problem. Looking down the years and forward, I will always IF it is enjoyable. But the no flour and no sugar presents a boredom that i distract myself with physicallity (Ive never dropped weight wth exercise and I want to be 135). I’ve engrossed myself in business and small blessings- organizing as well as hobbies: paintings- getting bolder and more fearless. Amazing! But I most be missing some thought work relating to an underlying agitation creating overdesire for sugar and flour. I want the health of being 135 and unstoppable.

Part 2: Neutral fact: My husband (53) has Intimacy Anorexia and it is not a problem for him. No matter how many candid, vulnerable and authentic conversasions we have- it is a dance of two people- resistance/control and scarcity. I love being alone and caring for myself- not a problem. I step out of the dance and just shine brighter. The last year (Masterclass Feb 2018) I take responsibility and show up for myself, assertive. And allow him his distance. He compulsively avoids and withdraws. But hey, thats him. Is my overdesire for food- sugar and flour related to a lack of intimacy? Let me get specific. I need human connection and eye connect. Basic mammalian, that is more than enough. A touch on shoulder and smile, A deep breathe hug frombehind while im cooking, compliment when I do something kind for him- have his car cleaned, but with the underlying theme of “we are in this journey together” instead of “how much will be enough before i can run away and be alone and safe again” or “quick get this over with, shes told me she needs this hug… and then ill rush away”. Oddly, my amazing husband is a people pleaser… a wonderful father (10yo daughter) but being connected with me is not of value and seems to cost him to much internally. This is a family of origin pattern for him.
So… withholding human connection and overdesire.

What is the thought work to telling sugar and flour to fuck off without changing the circumstances? P.S. I keep showing up for me it is no struggle, I get better at being me everyday. The journey is a joy, even alone! I am my own witness.