Overspending and underearning

I need help with overspending. I’m also underearning at the moment. I’ve just gone through all of my debt and the last time my cards were at a 0 balance was in 2017. And even that was because I got a personal loan to pay off the credit cards. Then I racked them back up again totaling $38k. I make $13.20 right now and am doing a bit of freelance work. I think my issue is that I don’t want to feel the feelings of fear that come up for me when I earn money and then I don’t want to feel deprivation when I don’t buy something. Any help appreciated!