Overspending Follow Up


Here is a new unintentional model on overspending on groceries:
C- Spent $601 on food which was $200 over budget amount
T- I am a person who overspends.
F-Shame
A- Overspend, beat myself up when overspend, raise budget amount
R- Reinforce overspending?

It’s interesting because when I think about spending within 15% of our budget, I feel scarcity such as it’s not enough. I also think about needing to calculate every dollar I am going to spend before I go to the grocery store. Is that because I still because I am operating from shame/scarcity? I do call myself the “spender” in our relationship.

When I think about a feeling I would need to feel in order to not overspend, I think about abundance because I’m spending from a place of scarcity and it feels urgent. For example, I plan out our meals. Sometimes I price out all of the items to make sure I don’t go over (but I don’t enjoy doing that). I go to the store and start shopping from list. Sometimes I will add one or two additional items not on the list. Then the amount ends up being over the amount I want to spend for the week.

It obviously carries over to other parts of our budget. There’s a cycle of I want to spend money on something. If it is not in the budget, then I feel scarcity and guilt and urgency to spend.

Another unintentional model:
C- Looking at clothing items – amount not in budget
T- I shouldn’t be spending money on clothes.
F- guilt
A- Spin in thoughts, feel guilty, go back and forth on spending the money, not set an amount
R- ??

Intentional Model:
C- Spent $601 on groceries
T-
F- Abundance
A-
R-

Does it all just come down to starting to believe I don’t overspend and the feeling I want to have? So letting go of the thought that I am the spender in the relationship and that we do have plenty of money? I think I would want to feel abundant. I also want to let go of feeling guilty whenever I do want to spend money. Thanks!