Owning my life


Hi there!

I was just filling out the “Owning Your Life” worksheet from the “How to Feel Better” class. The last questions asks: if you owned all the things that have happened in your life, what would that mean for you? Would anything feel different?

Can you help me through understanding totally what it means to “own the things that have happened in my life?” Right now I understand that to mean that I acknowledge that they happened to me/or I did experience those things, and now I have the power to decide what those mean for me. Is that on the right track? Or does it mean to take responsibility for them happening and all the results that followed?

Does it mean to take responsibility for having an alcoholic father and a mother who was emotionally drained? I’m not sure how to take responsibility for that since it was just a fact of my childhood. Or do I come at it from a place of being an adult and recognize that those were facts of my upbringing and now I have the power to decide what those facts mean for me now?

When I take the power of determining what those facts mean for me now, I feel like I have agency over my life now. When I try to take responsibility for those things existing in my past and that they were my fault and I just need to accept all the pain and confusion and hurt that goes along with them, I feel frozen in guilt and loss… I feel like my “kid” self again. But maybe I am just stuck in emotional childhood still around these parts of my past…

Thank you so much for your help!