Painful event in the past


I can’t make peace with the past for now. However I am trying to feel compassion and not peace. I would love your inputs to improve the models and ask me questions which can help me with this.

C : 10 years ago>Dad said : « call your cousin to try to make him feel better ». Did not call. 3 days later : cousin committes suicide.
T : I should have tried to call
F : Guilt
A : I judge myself negatively, I am critical towards my dad, I do not make peace, I do not process the grief
R : I am fighting with reality

C : 10 years ago>Dad said : « call your cousin to try to make him feel better ». Did not call. 3 days later : cousin committes suicide.
T : Everyone does their best to cope with what happened
F : Compassion
A : I judge myself and others less, I move towards making peace and I process the grief
R : I reconnect with myself