So I am needing a little direction with a parental disagreement I am having with my husband.

A little background: My husband is a pretty religious guy (Jewish) and I am more spiritual than religious. I don’t connect as much to the rules and regulations that religions have to offer.

Anyway, for a while he never allowed my girls (ages 12 and 9) to go out wearing shorts. He wanted them to wear a more modest skirt. (Which often times is pretty short as well). When my girls go out with me it is clear that I don’t really care but he always makes a big deal about it and has them going upstairs to change and they get in to a big fight, etc.

I realized that not only do I not feel neutral about if he makes them change in to a skirt or not but that I actually feel like he is truly not respecting their needs/wants and unique expression and I am totally not in to it.

I told him this morning that the compromise we need to make is that when they go out with him he can ask them to change into what he wants them to wear but when they go out with me they can wear whatever they like. He was not happy with this and did not feel like this was a compromise at all but yet another thing that he “lost.” I was pretty proud of myself for bringing this up with him because it is a pretty touchy subject for us and much easier to avoid but in the long run I know that it will help us evolve as a couple.

I am not even sure how a model would look like here? Do you have questions to offer that will help me look at this situation clearly?

Possible model: (I am not even sure if I got the C right)

C: Conversation with husband about compromise pertaining to girls dress code
T: It’s so annoying that he doesn’t see that what he is doing is unfair
F: Frustration
A: Being annoyed and disconnected to husband, not really listening or hearing him, eating off protocol ( chips) distracted and unfocused at work, blowing it up to ” How are ever going to make this marriage work??” place
R: Being unfair to myself ( eating off protocol and, unfocused at work and not showing up the way I want to) as well as being unfair to him ( not really listening to him , judging him and wondering if we should be married etc.

Any thoughts?
Thank you!!!