I’ve been in scholars for 3 months. I joined because I want to be better at managing my mind. Knowing that my energy and mindset creates the tone for the rest of my family, I wanted to invest in myself so I could be the best for my family. I have 3 kids. Ages 11, 8 and 4. I’ve had a full time photography business but after the 3rd kiddo, I’ve been putting my business on the back burner, and I’m totally fine with that. My focus right now is on my family. 2 years ago, my middle kiddo was diagnosed with dyslexia, adhd, auditory processing disorder, sensory processing disorder, etc., etc., pretty much every learning disability you can have. He was only 6 when diagnosed and I don’t know how much of those dx’s with stick, but for sure he is struggling academically. At the beginning of this school year my husband and I made the decision that I would homeschool him. Its by far the hardest most selfless thing I’ve done in my life. I adore all of my children and would literally do anything for them. Some of the problems that I’ve got going on right now is that since his diagnoses I’ve been stuck in this place of fear. I’ve spent so much of my time searching for answers, treatments, therapies, etc. that can help him. I’ve seen several examples in my life of what can happen with someone isn’t “neurotypical” and they go out into the world and end up with addiction problems, jail or dead. (Several men in my family including my dad had dyslexia and ended up going down some pretty gnarly paths, non with good outcomes.) I’m having such a hard time parenting from a place of confidence. I feel like I second guess everything we are doing. We are totally invested in helping our kiddo. We’ve spent countless amount of time and money on therapies so far and it just feels like nothing is helping right now. Here is one of my models:
T: I need to help him or it will end badly
F: desperate, heavy
A: Trying every type of therapy, researching, working tirelessly towards helping him
R: Nothing has seemed to help yet, I’m frustrated and doubtful,
I’m so scared all the time that I’m messing him up. That I’m not enough.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.
Thank you Brooke for all you do and your incredible wisdom. Much love!