Parenting Solo Majority of the Time

So I’m a mama of 4 parenting solo majority of the time as my lovey works away a lot. 3 weeks out of the month. I like to say that I’m fine and all is well but that is so not true. I seem to hit my breaking point more often than not, and I lose my shit.

Everything seems to bug me. The mess in the house, the kids leaving their toys everywhere, the loneliness and now my pity party. I’m a hot mess.

I tried doing a model this AM in my thought download:
C – I parent solo majority of the time
T – it’s hard as hell
F – exhausted
A – yell, I loose my shit, get upset about every stupid litte thing, tired, get lazy, isolate myself and ignore the constant chatter of the kids, disengage
R – just a whole lot of stress all around. Nothing gets done, a boatload of anger. Days are extremely long and terrible to be honest.

So I’m having a hard time doing my next model. I’m struggling with how hard my life is and how this sucks, and I can’t seem to let go of those thoughts that aren’t serving me.

I’m taxed, exhausted, and DONE!

I’m also not sharing my challenges with my husband as I don’t want to burden him as he has enough going on with his job. So that too is making it difficult for me. As I feel I’m all alone. Carrying some heavy shit and it’s a lot.

Appreciate your help! xx