Parents’ Situation – Model

Hello. My dad discovered my mom was “cheating” on him by seeing her flirty, sexual text conversations with another man, and since his medical condition is sensitive (due to a past illness), he literally had a seizure from the shock. Thankfully, he’s okay. My mom has cried & apologized profusely and is taking care of my dad. I do my very best to speak to her calmly & with compassion, but underneath that, I’m feeling intense resentment & anger towards her.

C: Mom messaged words to a man; Dad had a seizure.
T: She caused this.
F: Resentful.
A: Think a lot about how wrong what she did was & about how if she hadn’t done what she did, this wouldn’t have happened to my Dad. Keep wanting to blame her & shame her over what happened. Repeatedly begging/requesting her to never speak to that man again for my Dad’s sake. Ruminating about this situation, and not doing what I want to do in the day (work, etc.). Wanting to restrict & avoid speaking to her. Telling myself she doesn’t care about my dad enough & what happens to him.
R: I cause suffering for myself.

For the IM, the T “This is what happened” causes me to feel close to neutral. However, I’m having a difficult time seeing “She caused this” as a thought and not a fact, since it really was the shock from seeing those messages that led to my dad’s seizure. Please help. Thank you.