My spouse has refused to have a conversation about money with me, as they feel unnecessary. I have mentioned a few times I would like to discuss money and am happy to wait for a good time, but they have repeatedly refused (over almost a year period). We have a joint bank account, are married, and have property together; there are some things I would like to talk about.
I have supported them financially here and there, but not in a formal way, and I want this to stop, i.e., rent is due, and they don’t have their share, so I pay it as don’t want us to get evicted. They deny that this has ever happened/ promise it won’t happen again. They constantly talk about how short of money they are and how stressed about their money; I feel like this anxiety is contagious (I know that’s just a thought!)
Yesterday they mentioned that they have to pay more child support to their ex, and I said this concerned me as to where the money was going to come from?
C – Spouse says, “The court has ordered that I have to pay $250 per month child support.”
T – They will have even less money for us
F – scared
A – say that I am concerned and would like to talk about this at a time that is good for them, try to call them back after they hang up the phone, do not respond to their later message saying that I have caused them stress, think about withdrawing my money from shared account and no longer using it, compose emails to them about finances in my head, don’t sleep well, feel even more stressed next day,
R – I feel tired and stressed and disconnected from my spouse. I am less generous with my money to them.
This feels so stressful. I can’t seem to get to a better place with it… Any suggestions?