My thoughts about my partner staying out late and sleeping late used to be good. He is having fun. He has friends. He deserves a break.

Then I started feeling taken advantage of. He started lying to me. Found out he had been lying for years about going to strip clubs with friends about once every 4 months. (which I had been not happy with but okay with in past for special occasions, so why lie?).

Now I struggle so much when he goes out, which is far less often than it used to be. It has been about 18 months since I think he has lied to me, so I want my thoughts to change because now I think they are causing the trouble in our relationship. Yet ‘I wish my thoughts in the past had not been so accepting’), so I am having a hard time changing them back to being accepting. Does that make any sense? So what do I change my thoughts to now?