partner stays out late and sleeps late

My thoughts about my partner staying out late and sleeping late used to be good. He is having fun. He has friends. He deserves a break.

Then I started feeling taken advantage of. He started lying to me. Found out he had been lying for years about going to strip clubs with friends about once every 4 months. (which I had been not happy with but okay with in past for special occasions, so why lie?).

Now I struggle so much when he goes out, which is far less often than it used to be. It has been about 18 months since I think he has lied to me, so I want my thoughts to change because now I think they are causing the trouble in our relationship. Yet ‘I wish my thoughts in the past had not been so accepting’), so I am having a hard time changing them back to being accepting. Does that make any sense? So what do I change my thoughts to now?