Hi there,

I’ve been fascinated to read coaches as they respond to questions about love partners who don’t take on 50/50 responsibility for daily things that needs to be done around the house, with childcare, etc. The answers basically are all about how it’s fine if your partner does very little around the house while you do most of it.

I guess I am surprised by partners (spouses,girlfriends/boyfriends, etc.) who don’t act more like partners in sharing responsibilities. My partner would never consider dumping responsibility for getting things done around the house on me. He would never fathom the idea of not sharing, because that’s what partners do – they share. That’s what my parents did – they shared. One didn’t play video games or relax while the other was clearly working. They worked together.

So when that is not happening in these relationships that are described in the questions, why is it not suggested that the person talk with their partner, be honest that they are overwhelmed and would like help, and then responsibilities be shared moving forward? It almost seems like coaches are saying, “Suck it up. It’s your problem, not your partner’s responsibility to help.”

Can you explain? Again, maybe I am in a unique relationship, but my partner and I always help each other and share responsibilities, and we don’t shirk our responsibilities onto each other because we “don’t feel like it.”