PAST INFIDELITY MODELS WITH CURRENT T/F/A – RESULT??


10 years ago, I had a sexual affair outside of my marriage and we eventually divorced. I am now remarried to someone new, but I still have thoughts and feelings about this C that happened 10 years ago that do not serve me. I have two models. One involving shame, and the other involving guilt. Same C, different thoughts, different feeling, similar actions. I’m struggling with my R in both models. Can you offer some insight that I am not seeing?
Thank you.

C – Affair 10 years ago
T – I did a bad thing
F – Guilty
A – Try to be perfect in current marriage/Judge myself for past affair/Think of all ways I ruined my children’s lives/Try to make it up to them/Think “what if I do it again to my current husband”/Relive affair & outcome in my mind/Think of all the ways I still do bad things in present time/Can’t let it go
R – ???

C – Affair 10 years ago
T – I am a bad person
F – Shame
A – Tell myself I’m a bad wife currently/Judge myself/Think of all ways I ruined my children’s lives/Try to make it up to them/Think “I’ll probably do it again to my current husband”/Relive affair & outcome in my mind/Think of all the ways I am a bad person in present time/Can’t let it go
R – ???