I just got out of a 20 min coaching session.
As I am doing my models and coaching it seems that all my roads (models) lead to shame (and guilt).
My last couple of coaching calls have been the coach holding space/leading me through processing this feeling of shame.
The belief that my brain is clinging to is “I am not good enough.”
Today, my coach suggested something that she did with this work — giving her brain permission to believe the new thought/belief and giving her brain the job of finding the evidence.
Trying this out:
To my brain–
You have permission to believe that I am good enough.
Go find the evidence that this is true:
Re: Motherhood.
* I tell my children I love them every day
* I listen to them and hold space for their feelings
* I support their endeavors and creativity
* I believe they are inherently good and doing the best with what they have got
* I love them beyond measure
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I will start noticing the things I do, think or feel about my children that are evidence I am a good enough mother. My brain wants me to say a “good mother” but I am currently working on questioning the idea of “good” anything. Maybe there is no such thing as a “good” mother or a “good” person– so I am sticking with “good enough” — this still seems to have inherent judgement built in 🙂
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Motherhood is my starting place this morning, but I think I can just start collecting evidence of being good enough everywhere – good enough mother, good enough doctor, good enough wife, good enough daughter, good enough human. What bar of perfection have I been holding myself up against? Where did these ideas come from? Does it matter–or is it “good enough” to become aware of them, examine, decide if I want to keep them around in the present?
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