New to scholars, this is my first week in the fold.
The last 7 days or so I have found myself not really enjoying time with my daughter Rosa, she is 2 and a half. Me and her mother split her 50/50. This period was 9 days following an intense period at work. Usually I am able to use the model and other thought work practices to feel fairly positive and resilient but I’ve found myself this week really struggling to enjoy my time with her, longing for a break from her, and also experiencing guilt (surprise surprise) around these thoughts. The thoughts have been creating feelings of resignation in my body making me somewhat less energised.
In court of law description terms I have been meeting all her needs and engaging with her well but I notice that I basically think thoughts around having lost my connection to her and myself. I’d subtle-y given myself a rule that I wouldn’t work when I had her and yet I find myself trying to do bits of work when I’m with her and feeling bad about not giving her 100 percent of my attention.
Would appreciate your perspective on this tangle