Paycheck


I could use some wisdom around a few circumstances.

c: Employer did not pay me 100% for hours worked
c: Nurse where I work that also works at a hospital had a fever yesterday
c: Daughters texted me that ‘their Dad seems sick’
c: I have a headache
c: I am more tired than usual – (that probably isn’t a c)

I have much emotion about everything right now and am vacillating between fear, sadness, resentment and acceptance, strength and courage. I think the thing that is stumping me the most is that I feel like such a chump for choosing to stay there to pay my bills. I am not believing in my ability to move forward yet also know that my brain is telling me that things would be so much better if I wasn’t in this job.

c: not getting paid for all hours worked
t: It’s my fault I’m in a job like this
f: ashamed
a: beat myself up, tell myself I don’t have talents/am too old to get a better job, complain, fester in overwhelm and victimhood and self pity, doubt my abilities, freak out about income
r: create a dark outlook about this neutral circumstance

c: not getting paid for all hours worked
t: I am learning so much from all that has happened over the last month
f: aware
a: journal, get coached, feel the emotions instead of stuffing with food and wine, refuse to complain one more second about the job situation, redo my budget, look for ways to cut down expenses, work on my business, do thought downloads, work on focusing on and staying in the solution
r: learn and grow