People ‘crossing the line’


I would like some help seeing the result in a model I did yesterday please.

I had 2 different circumstances of people saying or doing things while my daughter was in their care that I considered inappropriate and out of line (there was also another circumstance but it had a different ‘flavour’ so won’t put it in here). Although I had individual thoughts about these circumstances when they each happened, it was the thoughts I had about these incidents collectively that I am trying to do a model on.

C: 3 different circumstances of people saying/doing things while daughter was in their care
T: I’m so sick of people saying and doing things that cross the line with things that concern my kids—they know I wouldn’t like them saying/doing that to/in front of my kids
F: undermined /self-righteous anger ( I know its supposed to be one feeling- but they both lead to the same actions anyway)
A: Avoid them (I don’t speak to them) or I am short with them when I do speak with them. I disconnect from them. Judge them. Stew in my head about how they shouldn’t have said/done that. Try to ‘fix’ the situation by talking to daughter about appropriate behavior. Don’t encourage daughter to have relationship with them. Talk to partner and friends about how I don’t want daughter to go there again. Worry about how I will deal with daughter asking to go there again.
R: ?

Maybe the result I create for myself is that I say and do things that I don’t like /I don’t show up in a way that I like? It’s kind of a projection, but its not really providing evidence/coming back to the T. Because it’s not that they say and do things in general that I don’t like (people get to live their life the way they want to), its more that they said things directly to my daughter or did things in front of my daughter that I think they shouldn’t have — and more so because they know I wouldn’t have liked it (one person actually said “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this” and the other one said “don’t ever tell your mum about this”).

Would just like some help seeing the result I am creating for myself, please.

Thanks.