At work, I am in a little of a political pickle. I have been given a course lead for a new program development. At first this was exciting, but I was told that this is usually the role of the program coordinator. I asked if they should have it and it should be reassigned. My boss said no. I have managed to go back and forth with my program coordinator in this little dance. I ask her input on almost everything. There have been a few times that I have initiated a meeting without consulting her first, which I have felt the cold shoulder from for a few days after. I know that she likes ultimate control. Now, we are in the development of content for the business plan and have to bring in other people. I have had a few conversations with her in the past to ask – are we good – would you like me to do anything different? Is there anything else? And it just seems that for the last two weeks she seems to think I am doing things in isolation even though I ask her permission on everything. I can’t seem to win. And I know rationally I can’t because my actions can’t change her thoughts.
My thought is that I’m scared of her. I am also scared that she will say awful things about me to my peers – which is happening because now she’s going after the integrity of my course without ever looking at the content – and all the work I have put in (plus my students love it). It’s such a negative opinion. I am in victim mode. I want not to be. I also want to not care about what she thinks about me. Or what everyone on that team thinks about me. I have down a number of thought downloads but I am having a hard time coming up with a new thought or an action plan – other than I quit my course leader role and just teach (not my job but my role!).