I want people to like me, to love me, to respect me and want to spend time with me…particularly my grown children and grandchildren…but friends also. Having good, warm, happy, close relationships is the top priority in my life. The way I know and act is to be nice and pleasant and fun, to do more for them, make frequent (but not too frequent) contact, bring little gifts if they’ve mentioned they need something, listen to them, serve them, please and accommodate them as much as I’m able. With my grown children, I refrain from giving any advice, as that has been a turnoff for them. With my friends/neighbors, I am more open with my opinion. I am getting a little response, but what I am doing isn’t getting the result I want. I know I cannot control other people, but it there some other way I can show up that will make a good relationship more likely? Ideas? Help with thoughts? Here is my model:
C- I like people and want close relationships
T- I gladly put out 110% but get 10% response
F- yearning
A- try harder
R- still get about 10% response