Period Sadness as a circumstance
I hosted a Business Seminar for Makeup Artists on March 10. I was scared shitless to do it. But I did it. More than 20 people bought tickets and I showed up. I did my best to teach them the things that were most impactful to me during the first 5 years of my business.
I’m having A LOT of thoughts and my emotions are pride, sadness, and shame at the same time.
I’m proud of myself because I did it. There’s room for improvement and I did something pretty epic for my first try.
I’m feeling sadness because I’m also thinking- I kind of don’t like how I showed up during the seminar. I can see a lot of areas I made mistakes. So I guess I’m beating myself up a little bit- okay a lot a bit.
I promised the attendees that I’d Coach them in 6 weeks. I started a private Facebook group where I will do a Q+A twice a week and I created a link to book free 1 on 1 coaching calls for more support.
“What if no one cares anymore and they don’t ask questions”
“I’m a terrible coach. I showed up like a fool at the seminar. I didn’t even answer questions properly. What if I don’t have the answers”
“I am so attached to their results.”
“I don’t even want to coach Makeup Artists anymore.”
“I want to teach them new things but I shouldn’t right now.”
I set up a 20 minute call for Friday because I’m going to show up in the group tomorrow no matter what even if I’m scared.
My REAL question is I took a walk and I realized I’m just super sad. I can’t pin point the thought.
But I checked my period tracker and my period should come on two days.
I always feel very emotional and sad and anxious at this time.
Can I put Period Sadness in my circumstance line for right now.
When I do that I feel peace and sadness at the same time and I’m okay with that.
I can think about the seminar later and continue to show up in the group coaching program.
This was a very long explanation. But right now I feel like I have to solve for how I feel about the seminar and answer all the internal questions about why I feel so bad about myself and why I’m attached to their results. It’s like trying to balance my sadness and do self coaching at the same time and it feels really overwhelming (because I have overwhelming thoughts).
And if I just accept feeling sad right now it takes care of feeling that pressure. I can just be sad and give myself compassion and rest.