perseveration – maybe as a buffer

I believe that I may use perseveration on romantic relationships as a buffer to avoid examining my thoughts and feelings about other things. I hyperfocus on men from time to time, and when I’m not hyperfocused on someone, I will hyperfocus on the concept of finding someone. There are much more important things in my life- I have a career, three kids at home, a contentious ex-husband, many skills to learn, etc.. I get those other things taken care of efficiently and effectively and with joy, but my thoughts and emotions are so often occupied by men, many of whom are really not at a stage where I need to be thinking about them between dates or between communications. What’s the best way to stop the perseveration, especially if it’s a buffer?