Personal Space


C: Man does exercises 1.5 feet away from me
T: He doesn’t respect my personal space
F: Angry
A: Ruminate, try to intentionally take up more space, stand closer to him, attempt to make him feel uncomfortable, judge him, not enjoying my workout, not asking him to move over
R: I don’t respect his personal space, I don’t respect him

My manual says he should respect my personal space. Obviously he has a different manual than me. The result I WANT to create is I have personal space. There are a couple of things I could do: (1) simply move away from him or (2) ask him kindly to workout further from me. If he doesn’t oblige with my request, I could talk to a gym employee to confront him. But at the end of the day, I can’t control what he does. I can request it and make petitions for him to move, but I can’t control others. The only sure fire way to create the result of having my personal space is to move to another area. But I am making this mean that I’m being a doormat. Here’s another UM

C: I think about moving to workout elsewhere
T: I’m being a doormat
F: Anger
A: ruminate, resent the man, not enjoy workout, judge self, spin in resistance
R: I find evidence I’m being a doormat, I create anger for myself

I know “I’m being a doormat” is an optional thought and does not produce the result I want. Here a IM:

C: I think about moving to workout elsewhere
T: I prioritize my personal space
F: Motivated
A: Move to another space, not ruminating, enjoy workout, reinforcing my commitment to myself to prioritize my personal space
R: I have my personal space

I’m having a hard time letting go of the thought “I’m being a doormat”. I think it’s because I think I’m not being a feminist if I’m a doormat. I equate moving with giving into the patriarchy. I think I could keep doing models on all of these trailing thoughts, but I’ll leave this here for coaching.