Personal Trainer – attraction


Hi Brooke and coaches,

I just listened to your live coach session from Oct.29. I actually really wanted to send in my request to be coached that day, but I felt I was not ready for it.
It was interesting to hear your first client’s problem (she isn’t attracted to her co-worker physically, but she likes him from all other aspects) – mine is very similar, but actually the opposite.
I am very attracted to my previous personal trainer, and I think he is interested in me as well – but for him it’s more a game- he seems to be the player type.

My problem is that I feel at this point in my life this attraction/ infatuation is pulling me down because he is younger than me, and we don’t have the same goals, status, etc. A few months ago I decided to stop training with him because I felt he was not a good influence on me anymore; however, I felt like I was the only person punishing because I really like to be around him and spending time with him. After listening to one of your podcasts about embracing the relationships that bring out negative emotions in us, I decided to actually go along with this and play with this idea. He asked me to train with him like friends, and I agreed. I am learning to control my thoughts around him, and I learn a lot about myself; however, the attraction is very high, and I am worried I will end up getting hurt even though I am doing the work on my thoughts. I feel I am playing with fire – which obviously I enjoy very much.

I should add that I recently got separated. He helped me lose the weight I have always wanted to lose and reach my ideal body weight. In many ways when I met him I was at the lowest point of my life, and I feel he helped me achieve one of my biggest goals. I never felt attractive when growing up or in high school/ college. I always felt my sister, friends were better looking; my self-esteem has suffered tremendously because of this, and now that I managed to get what I always wanted I feel amazing – physically; however, I feel emotionally I need to do a lot of work, hence I joined SCS.

Please help me come up with some thoughts to deal with this (I know there is a lot of baggage). My friends tell me to cut him completely out of my life, but I don’t think it’s realistic.

Thank you so much.