Perspective on child care?


Dear Brooke,

I need your help for a new perspective!
I’m on the last day of our family vacation in a beautiful and very pricy resort on the sea. When I look back to the last 10 days I see no vacation, no relaxation – just work, anger and frustration because of taking care of a toddler and a 5-year-old that cannot follow simplest of instructions like ‘sit down while eating’, ‘keep your hat on’ or ‘stand still while I put a sun screen on’. Me and my husband, we are like personnel of two self-oriented vampires, that suck out our life energy on daily basis and leave us empty and frustrated.
I think it’s not so much that I want – I’d like to have a meal at this lovely restaurant, when I actually can notice the food I’m eating and to have a small relaxed conversation with my husband. Instead a meal time is so much stress because of first getting food for starving kids, and taking care that they actually eat it. 10 min later they’re finished and start behaving like kids do – no chance for us to have a relaxed meal for a minute.
My only relaxed time is when my toddler is sleeping in the hotel room and I stay with him, just like in the moment when I’m writing this.
I don’t see what else we could do but what we are doing (I stay realistic with that)

I know this is going to get better but it’ll take 10 more years and this thought is so frustrating to me!!! I feel like the universe is punishing me for having two children. You say 50% of the time will be a bad time. If this is correct the last 10 days must make out for some very happy times, just I cannot think of such happy period…

How can I find another perspective, I feel so unhappy and I’m sure this makes me a bad parent too

Thanks
Christina