Perspective on a job situation

I am currently working at a Dr’s office. The Dr. texted me over the weekend stating that she does not know if she can pay me everything owed for the work I’ve done over the last few weeks. I responded that if this is the case, I would like to be laid off so I can get paid with government support, as others have done in the office. She responded that she will not lay me off. I am a single Mom and made my decision to stay, working at this non-essential care office that remains open, despite a government issued quarantine. My 8th-grade daughter is also at home as school is closed.

I have had a lot of emotion regarding the above facts. They have ranged from outrage, anger, fear, sadness, frustration and disgust. I am trying to process and not react to these emotions that I am causing with my story. This is not the first time pay/hours have been in question and I am beating myself up for not getting out of here sooner.

I do have an option to resign and apply for unemployment and apply for government assistance. It seems as if I meet the requirements for ‘just cause’ and should get the help. However, I don’t know that for sure and I’m nervous about taking that course.

Thoughts about all of this:

I can’t believe she is doing this.
This is not legal.
I am a fool for staying here.
She pulls in over $150k per week and should be able to pay me.
I’m afraid to quit.
I feel like such a chump for staying.

I think the hardest part about this is believing in my ability to create/find another source of income if I quit.

I also am finding it hard to let go of wanting circumstances to be different and be paid what I’ve earned.

c: Dr. texted that she may not be able to pay me after previously saying she could
t: I don’t know if I can find something else if I quit
f: afraid
a: spin in my head, complain, rant about how unfair this is and how she is awful, wear myself out
r: deplete myself, argue against what is, don’t look for another job

So appreciate your help.