Petty thoughts


Hi Brooke,
I recently got married and while going through the list for thank you cards noticed that my one brother and sister in law did not get us anything. We really don’t need the money and after examining my thoughts about it and why it is bothering me I have realized that it has nothing to do with the money. I feel like the two of them are classy and know what is customary and also are the first ones to matter-of-factly point out when others have made a faux pas, and I am just shocked that they would not get us a gift. The petty part of me wants to specifically call her out about it because she portrays herself like someone who would never do that, and it FEELS like they are getting away with it. The strangest part is that my brother and I are very close and I think my sister in law and I are pretty close as well. I have thought that it could very well be an oversight or what if the card was lost? I can’t find that out if I don’t ask. I have thought about just telling him that we are going through our records and don’t have a gift written down from them and wanted to make sure nothing was lost or we forgot to record it. I am so curious at this point as to what the reason/rationale could possibly be. I also just purchased a house and sold my former house though my sister in law. I would guestimate that she earned at least $ 10,000 in commissions from those two sales, and my thought is “we showed loyalty to you and in the least you can’t bless us with something minimal as a customary wedding gift?” I feel like I could just think the thought that “whatever the reason is- I choose to believe that it is benign and that’s all i need to know” but I worry that I will not look at them the same after this or that it will come out later at some point because I will not have truly let it go. On the contrary, I worry that if I ask them and shame them in some way that could be felt for a long time as well. It is frustrating because I feel like I should be so far beyond this kind of thing in my thought work and I am frustrated with myself that I am even giving this the time of day in my mind. Should I say something or just let it go?