My mom loves touching. She loves hugging. I thought I didn’t, but I sometimes feel the need for physical touch, too. However, I don’t understand the mixed feeling I had about my touch with her. On one hand, I want it to happen; on the other, I don’t. It feels awkward to me and repulsive.
We used to hug and touch a lot when I was a child, but when I grew up I had a lot of resentment towards her. I thought I was past that resentment, but considering that I feel repulsed about a physical touch with her, maybe I’m not past it?
How can I enjoy the physical touch and do it for her and for me because I think both of us would benefit from it and it could strengthen our relationship? I’m not used to it and it feels so weird.