I still love and miss my ex-husband. Eventhough I’m the one who left him. I did it too quickly, and part of me regrets that decision. Another big part of me supports what I was feeling then, and my decision to expand beyond that relationship. I know that latter part serves me best, and I want to have my own back in the decision I made.

My current partner and I have less in common than my ex and I did. and I SO miss my ex-husband’s sense of humor and all the fun we used to have.

I know what pining for aspects of my old relationship prevent me from fully appreciating my new relationship.

Old model:

C- past relationship
T- I miss him
F – Regret
A- think of all the good times, miss the “good ol days”, beat myself up for leaving
R- Feel sad and regretful, not resent in current life

New models:

C- Past relationship
T- We had lots of good and hard times
F- Acceptance
A- …..

C- current relationship
T- I am with a wonderful man who is the father of my child
F- Content
A- appreciate where I am, have fun with my family
R- ^^

As I write these things I am realizing that I am so focused on the old relationships. When I think the real issue is me not having my own back in my decision to leave. I think THAT is what is casing me more pain.

old model:

C- I left marriage (or maybe it should be “marriage ended – that feels less “blame-y”)
T- I’m not sure that was the right thing to do
F- Fear and doubt
A- Apologize, make excuses, try and validate my decision to others.
R- Stuck in past

Hmmm, I’m obviously kind of spinny about this. Any direction or insights? Thank you so much!!