Hi Brooke,

Since I have been more aware of things, I’ve noticed how deeply frustrated I am with my husband and food. My husband is one of those “skinny dudes” that would be fine with the stardust bar. Here is an example of why I’m frustrated: I would throw down a huge fancy ingredient cuisine for us to eat, and then wait for him to say something nice or praiseworthy. He never does. Like ever. He would just sit there and eat and ask about my day.

After following your work, I’ve learned that by doing all of this, I really thought he was being a bad husband all the while I was “loving” him and being a good wife. But no! This is not love, but rather me manipulating him just so I can feel better about myself. Most of our meals at home would consist of me being secretly pissed and dissatisfied because he didn’t love food like I did.

🤦🏻‍♀️…..womp womp.

Well- now that I’m doing this work, I’ve decided that I need to kill that part of me, and find a new way to get my own validation from my OWN SELF rather than him. Before I started this new work with you, I would question God as to why I even ended up with him since he doesn’t care about food like I do. His lack of food drama has been a huge strain to manage my mind around due to my insecurities and determination to get him to like food.

But now I’m thinking that with him being this way, it could actually help me and be easier on me.

What do you think?

Should I just……..leave him alone with his food, quit trying to change him and just focus on me? Lol!!! 😂

Thanks to you YES- I already know the answer to this. 😂 Here is my thought model about it. Old VS. new.

C: I spent 1 hour making josh dinner, and he didn’t react or tell me how wonderful it was.
T: how could he? Has him mom taught him nothing? he’s a rude ass, how dare he, doesn’t he know how much effort this took? Ungrateful husband! He’s making my food experience suck!!
F: pissed and rejected
A: anger and bitterness pulsing through me as I wash dishes and end the evening.
R: another night where I hate my life therefore resulting in not being thankful, or progressing whatsoever.

OK- now my new one!!!

C: I spent 1 hour making josh dinner and he didn’t react at or tell me how wonderful it was.
T: I already know this is a bomb ass dinner, and I’m glad he’s actually eating it. Thank God I can actually cook edible meals. Even though this meal is good, perhaps I don’t need to put in all this extra effort? Maybe I can take this time to be more simple with food.
F: content yet curious
A: washes dishes and cleans up like normal.
R: more opportunities for me to have gratefulness and love flow through my life. (Therefore progression is available).

How is this?

Btw- this is insane for me. My entire family would crucify me for choosing to think this way about food. If I were to simply food even just for Josh’s sake they would think I’m not being a good wife. Crazy!!! So me changing this would be HUGE.

But I guess this ultimately means that food cannot be a huge drama in my life which is what you intended for your students, right?