Planned numbing?

Hello coaches!

I’ve been in scholars for 6 months now 🙌🏻 and am getting deep into this work. I’ve made some huge progress (that even my perfectionist side admits to 😁). I’m feeling my feelings more than ever and have continually deepening levels of awareness of my brain.

I occasionally have an urge to do what I call a ‘deep numbing” – cannabis (legal where I am), wine, podcasts, candy, YouTube makeup tutorials, naps – basically check the f*ck out of life.

And here’s the thing. I really enjoy these times. They feel good and I come out of them stronger and more present and able to show up for life better. They don’t feel like they happen too often or sabotage anything. So what I’m saying is that I like my reasons for doing it.
I’ve been scheduling these in my calendar to make sure that they don’t interfere with other things.

So my question to you – are these okay because I like my reasons or is this my brain trying to play some trick on me that I just can’t see yet?