Planning for a Gathering – Aftermath


I did the following model yesterday prior to going to a family gathering. I did this because I realized that although I plan my food before going out, I haven’t been planning or preparing for how I’m going to be thinking and feeling, so I usually am not my word. I decided to try planning a model in advance versus just after the fact:

C: Gathering tonight.
T: Tonight I will practice being my word and follow my plan, no matter what.
F: Intentional.
A: I eat only what planned (1 slice of pizza, veggies, and salad), slowly; I drink club soda with lime; I eat only until satisfied; I allow my urges; I notice my unintentional thoughts with no judgment and with compassion and curiosity.
R: Iā€™m my word to myself.

How it went: I was FAR better in being my word than I normally would have been. I ate all the things noted above and ate slowly and allowed my urges, except for two instances.

1) A vegan friend brought 10 impossible whopper burgers from burger king, and my thought was, “I’ve heard so much about the impossible burger – I want to try it!” So I split half with the husband. At that point, I had not yet had pizza, so I thought, “I could count that as the pizza.” But then I later thought, “I was planning on the pizza and had been looking forward to my one slice, so I will have it.” And I did, and ate it slowly, and enjoyed. I’m not too worked up about resolving this one because I can clearly see what thoughts got me there and can manage them in the future.

2) There was cake and ice cream, and I had not planned for it, nor did I think I want any (I don’t usually like sweet things). When they cut the cake after blowing out candles, I went to the bathroom and was gone a few minutes. As I was returning, someone was coming back in and asked me if I’d had cake yet. I said no, and he said, “There’s still a slice or two left.” I immediately went out, saw one last slice, cut that in half, and served it to myself with one scoop of ice cream. And it was absolutely delicious because it wasn’t overly sweet (it was from Costco). I really really enjoyed it. However, I’m not clear what the thought I had here was and would like some coaching.

Overall, I’m pleased that I did better than I normally would have. I was experiencing what it felt like to feel my urges, and it was kind of amazing because my head was clear, I was more present and relaxed with people, and wasn’t worried about food. But I would love coaching on the cake/ice cream thing. I am trying to understand the thought that led me to feel like I had to go have the cake. It’s not quite, “I’m going to miss out.” It’s a feeling akin to when I’m left out or forgotten and don’t want to be left out/forgotten…

Here’s my model for what happened:

C: He said, “Have you had cake?” I said, “No.” He said, “There’s still a slice or two left.”
T: ???
F: Urgency
A: Served myself half the remaining slice and a scoop of ice cream; ate it and enjoyed it.
R: I ate the cake and ice cream even though it wasn’t on my plan.

Thanks!