Playdates


I have a complex family situation. I’m writing this out to practice being factual and not opinionated. I really want to make more of the C’s in my life really clean, clear, and factual.

My husband has 4 kids, (who range in age from 24-34 years old) from another marriage. We have 3 year-old twins together.

One of his kids has a daughter a year older than ours. So his granddaughter.

The granddaughters dad (his son) has been having some trouble and my husbands ex-wife had become a co-guardian of the granddaughter. She and the son are now in a legal battle since she wants full custody.

We have heard through others that is messy, but we receive any details from the ex-wife or son, despite our asking, so don’t have many facts.

The ex-wife doesn’t communicate with my husband or keep him up to date, and when he contacts her by text or email asking for details she doesn’t respond.

The kids – our 2 and the granddaughter – like to spend time together. It isn’t often because of the lack of communication.

We have cabins 5 doors apart, and I was heading down to the beach and happened to see the granddaughter and her babysitter en route.

The kids had a good time playing 6 feet apart.

I started talking with the babysitter, to find out what her schedule was, and how often/when she babysits, thinking to coordinate with her.

Yesterday, I found out she wasn’t going to be around today so I asked my husband to offer a play date for this morning. We texted last night at 7 pm. No response.

This is not a surprise.

It wouldn’t surprise me if the husband of the ex-wife walks down later this morning and we meet up.

So… I’m playing with this as a model to continue to evolve myself and move toward what I want despite the complexity, or something like that.

The trouble with the IM is I know my thoughts and feelings about I still want the outcome of the play date with the granddaughter. THAT feels out of my control.

I can feel my life force (which is in part my purpose) but I’m not sure how to bridge that to the result I want of more play dates. I don’t have control of the ex-wife or husband or what they choose.

I’m also starting to see that this is not dissimilar to a sales conversation. Make offers, make offers, make offers.

Unintentional
C – family situation
T – it is complex
F – braced, breath held
A – find other ways in to connect the kids.
R – inconsistency in connection, feeling a bit tired or resigned

Intentional
C – family situation
T – Let’s have a play date
F – I feel my life force,
A – keep offering,
R Kids have play date when they are at cabin

C – family situation
T – the universe is friendly
F – I feel my quiet power
A – Keep texting, keep sending out offers
R – kids have play date when they are at cabin

Thanks., there is something missing here, I’m getting there…. and am looking forward to your feedback.