please help on models


C: Husband said “well I guess I will ___________ and not be militant in my behavior with the changes the board is making so it does not cause you suffering etc. (we live in a condominium complex)
T: Yes! He is seeing it a different way
F: relief
A: I listened and agreed that that is good
R: I did not create drama with talking more and have a good result.

1 hour later

C: husband asked “When can we get the God damn A/C units installed?”
T: I need to be careful how to talk to him about this.
F: defeated
A: husband initiates conversation about what we are doing concerning projects on the board and I listen. I answer each of his questions and try to explain why it is the way it is and he gets upset and rants and complains about how he doesn’t like the way things have changed. I keep answering his comments and questions and he continues to give his opinion on what he thinks should be done. What I did not do is keep space with him and listen to his concerns and not have to think that I need to agree with how to handle things or take action from what he thinks we should do. I keep saying that what he says is not true.
R: Not respecting and responding to my husband’s needs and concerns and “fears” which causes me to get anxiety and sadness.

Then…

C: husband said “Just give me half the money and I will leave”
T: He is threatening to leave me again
F: desperate
A: started to cry. Said a prayer. Took deep breaths stop crying, Asked myself do I sit with the feeling, NO. I reminded myself that I have worked through this before when he says these things and know that he will not leave. Leave him alone with his rant and will keep space.
R: Took care of myself and eventually got out of “his manual”