I just realized a few things,
Respecting yourself = respecting the Life that you are
Boundaries = respecting yourself and the Life that you are
Commitment to your Self= respecting yourself and the Life that you are
Similarly Respecting others/boundaries with others =respecting the Life that they are
Prior to now I did know how to do this. I did not know how to Cherish my Self. I was hardwired to seek approval and it never occurred to me to not attach to others if they could not respect and cherish me, if there were no clear boundaries. And by boundaries, I mean that there are conditions that get triggered f you are not respectful, if you do not care about my needs.
Like many of us, I came from a childhood environment where people disrespected each other a lot (fighting, talking behind each others backs, lots of broken promises, often it felt on purpose, no emotional support)
Instead, with men, I would attach and spend years in emotional pain. And when in emotional pain like that, I was very self-absorbed. Therefore I did not know how to cherish other people and care for their needs.
This is so hard.
OK, I am partially coming out of the closet to divulge that for the past 17 3/4 yrs (yes 17 3/4 yrs, from 42 to 59) I (your client) have been in a relationship with many (many) broken promises, lots of lying, and lots of intermittent attention and neglect. I am starting to awaken to the probability that I have been in denial- and that there is an addictive component. Seriously…I should have known better. Perhaps, even, I have been “played” by a player…Conned. Aaargh not me! No!!! And, I feel so guilty even suggesting this is the case- I feel like I am supposed to be eternally supportive of him
seriously – I am a really smart person, but I think I was/am simply not willing to believe that this person who said they loved me was really actually not respectful, acting in ways that was not respectful to the Life that I am (and the Life that he is- he is not respectful to himself). There was/is a part of my brain that simply could not make sense of this. Denial. I have just not been willing to accept bluffs, lies and broken promises. Crazy…I never thought this would happen to me
I need to “tend to my vibration” and figure out what self respect means and implement self respect and boundaries
I would love to hear your ideas on this, please help me go to the next higher level
Also do you have advice on making this a less painful story? If I look at the hard losses it is really hard (this negatively effected my career and also no kids or family for me)
The good news is that I have lots of energy for creating beautiful and wonderful things.