PM melt down

Hi I seriously need help with my evening rituals.
Goals- continue to reduce wine in the evening, and lose 40 pounds This Year!!
Too many years wasted life is growing short.
I just develope an attitude that it’s ok to eat and drink tomorrow is a fresh start but then the next day I’m 100% committed listen to your podcasts – preaching to my friends how awesome you are but by 5 pm I fall back into my pattern of eating drinking followed by guilt self loathing and desperation
I did a very intense 2 hour spin class felt like a total badass but by evening I was drinking and eating Again – so all that good calorie burn and joy was overshadowed by the friggen evening eat drink fest . It feels so out of control –