Positivity and Death


My dad passed away about a year ago. He made huge efforts to be positive that he would get better (he had terminal cancer that lasted about 6 weeks before he passed away). He was completely bedridden the last week of his life, but still wanted to use a walker (although he couldn’t even get off his bed), hoping still that he would get better (some would say he was in denial). Taking this example to heart, I have tried not to make any goals myself since I saw that no matter how hard he tried to be positive, he physically couldn’t reach his goals before his death. Since listening to your podcasts and being a SCS member, I have tried to take massive action and set big goals. But this experience with my dad still feels conflicting in my mind. What thoughts can I have that will change this for me? The thoughts I have had in the past are, “no matter how hard I try, I won’t necessarily be able to reach my goals because so much of life isn’t in my control i.e. dying, physical health issues, etc.” I have the tendency to only set goals about having positive thoughts no matter the circumstances, because that is something I can absolutely control. I’m having a hard time setting goals that don’t fully in my control. What am I thinking wrong, or how can I process/reframe my thoughts and the experience with my dad? Thank you Brooke! xoxo